Bedtime Blues

For the past week now Arielle has had a very difficult time falling asleep at her regular bedtime. I would go upstairs and walk by her room to feed Averi between 9 and 10 pm and find that Arielle's bedroom light was on. Upon opening the door she would be sitting up in bed with a pile of books on her bed and on the floor. She would just say "I can't fall asleep." I spoke to her teachers and asked them not to help her fall asleep at nap time because my hope was that any sleep during the day would be the cause of her not being able to fall asleep at night. Turns out that she didn't nap most days this week but still couldn't fall asleep at night.


I'm actually quite amazed at how well she is handling this because I would have expected her to come downstairs throughout the course of the night and make a fuss to sit with us. However, to my delight there has been no crying, whining, fussing, yelling, screaming or any other tantrum-like episodes thus far. Of course, I'm not at all too happy about this new little routine that she has been settling into but I think we are doing a good job of handing it.


Last night I decided to take a new approach to the situation. I told her that she couldn't turn the lights on after we left her room but she could use her flashlight to read one book. After that she had to try to fall asleep but whatever she did she couldn't turn her bedroom light on. I think having the light on will make her less likely to fall asleep which is why I made this rule. I know for sure that she didn't turn her light on last night because I checked often but I never went in her room to know if she read more than one book or what time she fell asleep. I'm crossing my fingers that the "No lights on" rule will work and she'll outgrow this soon.

~Momma to Bug n' Bear ~

4 Going on 24?

I started to write this post four days ago and was very happy about the title because it described what Arielle had been acting for the past week. However, she is four and her mood changes in the blink of an eye. Suddenly she has been acting more like a two year old. To put it eloquently, she has had a few number two accidents out of the blue and I don't know what to make of it. She didn't even have those types of accidents when she was potty training believe it or not. If she is trying to get my attention it sure is working. This must be a glimpse of things to come when the baby is born and Arielle is getting even less attention.

Let's rewind to last week when she announced to me that when she was grown up she was going to get married and have babies. She went on and on about how she was going to have babies so that she could take care of them and feed them. I later found out that she told her teacher the same thing. I know the fact that I am pregnant probably has a lot to do with her recent decision making but I can't help but think she is WAY too young to be planning this out right now. Then today out of nowhere she came up to me and tried to "french kiss" me, not once but twice. She was not happy when I told her that kissing that way was inappropriate. She seems to be in such a hurry to grow up, it is almost saddening but at the same time it is refreshing to be reminded of her pure childhood innocence. She is just telling it like she sees it.

On another much greener note, we had to dig up our front yard tree that was not coming back to life. The tree that we got to replace it is beautiful! It's called a Ft. McNair Horse Chestnut and has beautiful pink flowers in the spring. Although it is a slow growing tree, it gets very tall and top heavy. I hope we can be here long enough to see it get that big.

~Momma to Bug~

Mother's Day Treasure

I had a wonderful Mother's Day this year, despite the rainy and chilly weather. It started off perfectly when everyone let me sleep in and the rest of the day was just as good. I asked for a new Pandora glass bead to add to my charm bracelet and got what I wished for! Besides that I got to spend all day with my family. Arielle has been going through a big "NO" phase in the past couple of months which has been trying and I have been trying not to lose my patience too often. I decided that instead of getting mad and yelling or telling her not to say no to me, I would just take one of her toys away when it happened. So I created a "Reward Chart" that she could earn stickers when she did one of three things (help, make a good choice or listen) and when she gets five in a row she can earn back a toy. It has been working well but she is still testing me more often than not. Today was no exception but she made up for it at bed time because she didn't even ask me to lay down with her for a little while or cling to me as I tried to leave the room (a habit that I am trying to break quickly).

This weekend I took Arielle to some garage sales, which has become one of her new favorite pasttimes! I didn't find anything good to buy but I did find this large wicker chest sitting on somebody's driveway for FREE! While it is not in perfect condition, it functions well and still looks great. I am thinking about spray painting it for the new baby's room. White if it is a girl, dark brown if it is a boy. We find out in three weeks (if we can help it) so stay tuned for the transformation. I will have to install child-proof hinges somehow and I am wondering though if I should remove the feet or keep them. What do you think?

~Momma to Bug~

Fruitful Lesson

Today Arielle learned a very important lesson. She learned what it means to steal and that it is wrong to steal. When we got home from shopping today I noticed she was playing with some fake decorating fruit. I had no idea where it came from so I asked her where she got it and she replied, "it was in my monkey purse." So I said, where was it before it was in your monkey purse and she told me the furniture store! I couldn't believe it. She had stuffed it in her purse before we left the store and stole it.

I told her that it was wrong to steal but she just looked at me blankly and I realized that she did not know what it means to steal. I scooped her up and held her in my arms and told her that stealing is when you take something that doesn't belong to you or when you take something from the store without paying for it. Then I said that when people steal, the police come to their house and put them in handcuffs then take them to jail, where they will be away from their families for a long time.

She got a very serious and anxious look on her face and got really close to me and said, "when the police come will you tell them that I didn't know it was wrong and then they won't take me away from you because I love you guys." She repeated this a few more times to make sure that I knew what to stay when the police showed up at our house. I guess my explanation of stealing scared her somewhat. Hopefully she learned her lesson.

~Momma to Bug~

My {Baby} Girl

I can't believe how grown up Arielle has become over the past week. It's like all of the sudden she is saying and doing stuff that is so unbabylike {for lack of a better description}. The other day at the store I told her that I just had one more thing to get and then we could go buh-buh's. She told me not to say it like that. Today I called her baby girl at the end of a sentence {it's just a pet name I've always had for her}. She told me she wasn't a baby.

Something else we have been going through this week is bedtime procrastination. Practically every night she has walked out of her bedroom after we tucked her in and said goodnight, sometimes crying. One of the nights she was upset because she could tell we were playing the Wii Fit test and she wanted to watch. We let her stay up late. Another night she had apparently hit her face on her bookshelf/nightstand. Tonight she messed up her covers and needed them fixed then she decided that the sound her humidier makes scares her so we had to turn it off. She has had a humidifier in her room since she was one so I'm not sure why all of the sudden it's an issue.

The older Arielle gets, the more at ease I feel about parenting. It doesn't mean things have gotten easier, it just means I have gotten more comfortable with things the way they are.

~Momma to Bug~

I really love this writer's response to the question...

If you are having trouble reading this, send me an email (mommatobug@yahoo.com) and I will forward it to you.

Send it to any mom you know and it will probably make her day a little bit brighter {or at least give her something to laugh about}!

~Momma to Bug~

Where have all the naps gone?

I remember when Arielle used to take NaPs. It wasn't that long ago that she would take one nap a day very regularly. Usually she would sleep for 2 to 3 hours and I always dreaded the days that she just slept for 1. What happened to naps? I miss them so much. The weekends just aren't the same without them. Whenever I pick Arielle up from school I ask her, "Did you sleep at school today?" and she always says, "Yes." One day last week after her reply she added, "My teacher was rubbing my back." I coaxed more details out of her and was led to believe that the teacher was rubbing her back during naptime to get her to stop talking when she was supposed to be sleeping.

Which leads me to another topic. Talking. Another day last week when I picked her up one of her teachers asked me, "Does she talk in her sleep?" I had to think about this because it seemed natural to me that the answer should be yes, but the more I thought about it I decided that is about THE ONLY TIME that she Arielle does not talk. Arielle really does love to talk. In fact, Zak and I can barely get a word in edgewise when we come home from work because inevitably we WILL be interrupted by Arielle. Like every parent does, we taught her to say the words "Excuse me" when she needs to talk while someone else is speaking so she does remember her manners some of the time. Lately, not only does Arielle have a lot to say when she is awake all day long but she has to repeat herself to everyone in the room until they have each acknowledged her statements. Do you see where this is going?

In conclusion, I really do miss naps.

~Momma to Bug~

R.I.P. Elmo & Mermaid 11/13/2008

This morning Zak discovered that the Monster that lives in our house (a.k.a. Lexi) went on a chewing spree sometime in the middle of the night. Pieces of one of Arielle's Elmo slippers and a Little Mermaid figure were scattered all over the living room floor. When Arielle discovered what had happened she burst into tears! Funny thing is that she was more devistated about the Elmo slipper than the mermaid doll even though she had just taken it to school for show and tell and I haven't seen her wearing the slippers for months. It took some convincing that the slippers weren't going to fit her for much longer along with reassurance that we would buy new ones in order to stop her from sobbing.

~Momma to Bug~

Focus on the Good

This past weekend took a toll on me as a parent. My sweet, beautiful little three year old decided to test our patience to the fullest! It started out when she decided to cut her hair. This could have ended up with a before and after shot which shows long beautiful golden locks in the former and a very short, bangless bob cut in the latter. However, what she did is easily concealed so fortunately that is not going to be the focus of this blog. Besides that {as if that wasn't enough to make me pull my own hair out}, Arielle was very vocal about the fact that she didn't like us telling her what to do. She told us more than once, "If you keep telling me things to do than I will NOT do them!" I listened to her say this and saw how she reacted everytime she disobeyed us and we punished her...and my heart was breaking. She seemed so angry and frustrated; children do as they see so she must have know that I was feeling this way.

What is a parent to do?

I decided that we needed to do less focusing on the bad stuff and MORE focusing on the GOOD stuff that she did. Tonight we are going to make a ReWaRd ChArT and start giving her rewards for the good things that she does instead of punishing her for the bad things. As a parent, you read about so many discipline methods and try to make them work for you but I found that in the end your child will guide you to do the right thing. For example, it is so apparent to me that Arielle does not like to be WRONG...that is just the type of kid that she is and I can't blame her because I am the same way. In her case, telling her she is wrong all the time when she does something bad {whether accidentally or on purpose} just makes her feel horrible from the start. She loves to do things right and expects everyone else to do things right so I am going to start showing her just how it feels to have someone acknowledge all of the hard work that it takes to be GOOD and do things right!

I can't wait to start rewarding her for all the gOOd that she does!

~Momma to Bug~

Is it still today?

Try answering that qUeStIoN to a three year old on a daily basis. Arielle hasn't quite figured out the concept of a day or the difference between today and tomorrow. We keep having the same conversation over and over again...

Arielle: When I wake up from bed will it be today?

Momma: No, when you go to bed at night and wake up in the morning it is tomorrow not today.

Arielle: Is today tomorrow?

Momma: No, today and tomorrow are two different days.

Arielle: Is it tomorrow yet?

Momma: No, it is still today.

...on and on and on.

It sounds quite humorous as I sit down typing it but it can be very frustrating as it is actually occurring. Perhaps it is time to buy a calendar for her room...maybe that will help teach her about ToDaY & tOmOrRoW.

Anyone else have a suggestion?

~Momma to Bug~

Leaving Blankie behind...

Arielle has made so much progress in the past two weeks. She has officially "detached" herself from Blankie, thereby decreasing the amount of time spent thumb sucking to practically never! No more carrying blankie from room to room and turning around to go back for it when we leave the house. As of this morning, the only place we had to take it with us was to school for naptime but that all is about to change...

Today when I picked Arielle up at daycare, her teacher informed me that we needed to start bringing a blanket to school that she could leave there and not take home every day {my heart stopped beating at the very thought of this}. "She needs blankie to go to sleep." Did I really just say that out loud? Yes, and as soon as I said it I knew how silly it sounded. Fortunately Arielle chimed in and announced that she was going to pick a different blanket to bring to school and leave the yellow blankie at home in her bed FOREVER! When we got home I opened up the big container of baby blankets and Arielle picked a new one for school that we will take on Wednesday and leave there. I still keep wondering if this is really happening to me because it feels like a dream. Really, it's too good to be true!

Bye Bye Blankie?

Blankie has been in our lives since Arielle was born but we never really knew how important it would be until Arielle was about four months old, if my memory serves me correctly. The way that Blankie came to be such a huge necessity in our lives is simple. Arielle hated being in the car from the time she was born. She almost always cried and even if she did fall asleep she would usually wake up every time we stopped {I swear this kid has never wanted to miss a thing that was going on around her}. This was so frustrating for me and I would usually end up being more upset than she was by the end of the car ride. As the weather starting to turn colder, one day I decided to bring a blanket with us to keep Arielle warm in the car. To my surprise and enjoyment, Arielle did not cry once on that entire ride. From then on I decided that Blankie was going with us every time we left the house. I even started putting it in her crib with her when she went to sleep. Little did I know how attached she would become to it and how it would change her life for good.
Not only did my new-found lifesaver keep Arielle quiet in the car but it also gave her the determination to suck on her thumb whenever she was holding it. If it weren't for Blankie I don't think Arielle would have ever been a thumb sucker. I have seen her just think about blankie and automatically her thumb goes in her mouth. There was one day a few weeks before Arielle turned two, that we lost Blankie #1 at the mall. I don't know who was more panicked over it...me or her. After an hour of going back through stores and the lost and found we left empty handed. Thank God I had my mom make a backup Blankie just in case anything every happened because we surely needed it! Arielle knew that it was a different Blankie but since she had no other choice except to live without a Blankie so it was good enough for her. In retrospect, having a backup Blankie was probably the worst thing for all of us because now that Arielle is almost four the Blankie is becoming more of a nuisance than a lifesaver.
All of this is leading up to the fact that Arielle had her first dentist appointment today and we found out that her teeth have already become bowed out from all the thumb-sucking. I asked if this would only affect her baby teeth and when the answer was no, I became determined more than ever to wean her off the Blankie. I'm pretty sure that if we can get Blankie out of the picture that Arielle will stop sucking her thumb and we'll have a better chance of her not needing braces. So we had a long talk with Arielle about not sucking her thumb anymore and she agreed to try to stop doing it. We decided to make a "No-thumb-sucking Chart" {similar to a potty chart which was very successful for her with potty training}. For the past almost 24 hours she has been more than cooperative in defeating the thumb sucking urge. She even tried to take a nap yesterday without Blankie {it was entirely her idea} and went a whole car ride to school this morning without it! I think with a lot of encouragement, several stickers and probably a few tears that she is going to be successful. Wish us luck!!!

Miss Bossy

Lately Arielle has been acting like little Miss Bossy around the house. She has started really testing me when I say no to something by repeating that she will do it over and over again in a song-like manner. But I know underneath all of that bossiness lies an angel full of goodness because I see it come out of her from time to time. For now I will just take the highs with the lows and hope that the fours are a different story to write about.

The path to home...

Everybody has experienced the age old parenting tactic where your parents "threaten" to leave you somewhere because you refuse to leave with them. Today Arielle was no exception to this rule. We were at the fancy pool and Arielle had missed her nap. She was very tired from all of the splashing, jumping and swimming that she was doing. Her first outburst came when the lifeguards blew their whistles for the 2 o'clock adult swim and she was forced out of the pool. This did not make her happy but she calmed down when she realized that all of the other kids were being kicked out as well.

Later when we decided to leave and Arielle wasn't cooperating is when Zak told her that we would just leave without her if she didn't want to come with us. This of course made her get up and run after us (works like a charm!). As we walked together holding hands on the way out she said, "If you leave me at the pool I won't know my path home."

Wouldn't it be scary to not know your way home? I never really thought about this before but what Arielle said really made me stop and think about it from a child's perspective. No wonder this tactic never fails; the thought of it actually happening is probably so terrifying to children which is what makes them run after their parents. I'm not so sure I'll be using this tactic in the future but it's good to know that it works and for good reason.

The chicken or the egg?

Being a full-time working mommy has really started to take a toll on me especially since Arielle is so active and knowledgable. For her it is just go, go, go and all I can think about when I get home from work and on the weekends is rest, rest, rest. Not only that but her little temper is tiring me out even more so then her restlessness. I am happy to report that as of next week I will be "working from home" for two half-days a week. Maybe this is the change that I need right now to get back my strength, motivation and desire...and maybe it is the change that Arielle needs to get back her mommy-the way I used to be.

I have to admit, parenting has gotten so difficult for me lately that I don't feel as though I have the strength, motivation or desire to try hard anymore. Or is it that I feel as though I don't have the strength, motivation or desire to try hard anymore that parenting has gotten difficult? I have really started questioning this over and over again. I try going backwards in my head from the beginning of my motherhood hoping to find the answer but it is still not clear to me. The truth is that parenting has never been easy for me but I have never lost hope and I never will because I know that Arielle is counting on me. I may not ever find the answer to this conundrum but I do know for sure that I wouldn't trade my mommy card for anything else in the world because after all, my daughter is my world.

"The phrase "working mother" is redundant."- Jane Sellman

Mother's Day meanings

What did Mother's Day mean to me this year?

It meant that I had to cut my kidless trip to Target short, wait by myself at Mimi's Cafe for an hour, get wet from the sprinklers, order from a short version of the menu (at least they made me my "usual" even though it wasn't on there), ask my daughter to stop kicking me and sit on her bottom several times at the restaurant, pick up pieces froma a broken picture frame that got knocked over by the wind and discover the scratches and dents that it made on our new, cool bookshelves then color them in with a Sharpie.

But it also meant that another year has gone by that I have been able to spend with the most precious thing in the world to me...my little Bug, Arielle! It has been another year that I have been lucky enough to hug and kiss her, tuck her into bed at night after three stories, sing songs, play dolls and dress up with her. Another 12 months that in that time I have gotten to watch her learn how to use the potty like a big girl, get dressed all by herself, eat corn on the cob, help me fold the laundry and cuddle with on the couch. In that time I have definitely felt like a mother through and through although sometimes I have felt like I haven't always deserved to be a mother. Those are the times that I will look back on and hopefully laugh about without any regrets when I realize how much I have learned about being a mother.

I've also gotten to spend another year with my Mother which means a lot more to me than I can ever say. I love you Mom even though I don't always say it. You mean so much to us, your family.