Monday, October 13, 2008

Focus on the Good

This past weekend took a toll on me as a parent. My sweet, beautiful little three year old decided to test our patience to the fullest! It started out when she decided to cut her hair. This could have ended up with a before and after shot which shows long beautiful golden locks in the former and a very short, bangless bob cut in the latter. However, what she did is easily concealed so fortunately that is not going to be the focus of this blog. Besides that {as if that wasn't enough to make me pull my own hair out}, Arielle was very vocal about the fact that she didn't like us telling her what to do. She told us more than once, "If you keep telling me things to do than I will NOT do them!" I listened to her say this and saw how she reacted everytime she disobeyed us and we punished her...and my heart was breaking. She seemed so angry and frustrated; children do as they see so she must have know that I was feeling this way.
What is a parent to do?

I decided that we needed to do less focusing on the bad stuff and MORE focusing on the GOOD stuff that she did. Tonight we are going to make a ReWaRd ChArT and start giving her rewards for the good things that she does instead of punishing her for the bad things. As a parent, you read about so many discipline methods and try to make them work for you but I found that in the end your child will guide you to do the right thing. For example, it is so apparent to me that Arielle does not like to be WRONG...that is just the type of kid that she is and I can't blame her because I am the same way. In her case, telling her she is wrong all the time when she does something bad {whether accidentally or on purpose} just makes her feel horrible from the start. She loves to do things right and expects everyone else to do things right so I am going to start showing her just how it feels to have someone acknowledge all of the hard work that it takes to be GOOD and do things right!

I can't wait to start rewarding her for all the gOOd that she does!

~Momma to Bug~

1 comment:

~Mommy+Me~ said...

Hang in there Des! I soooo know how you feel. Our girls are ALOT alike! You've got the right idea, to try and acknowledge her good things more. I've definitely noticed that works with Imani, but it's hard to be consistent with that. Imani does not like to be told what to do either, and she makes that pretty obvious with her faces and sometimes back talk. :(
Glad her hair cut wasn't too much of a disaster!! Did you know I cut Ray's hair when we were little?? My mom used to babysit her and I decided she needed a haircut. LOL!